Funny Bone

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NEW YORK (AP) — A former writer and producer for "The Simpsons," a former writer for "Saturday Night Live" and a former president of the Harvard Lampoon are finalists for the Thurber Prize for American Humor, a $5,000 award.

Larry Doyle, a contributor to The New Yorker and Esquire magazines whose previous credits include "The Simpsons," was nominated for "I Love You, Beth Cooper," his debut novel, inspired by his experiences at Buffalo Grove High School.

Doyle is now in post-production for the movie version of "I Love You, Beth Cooper."

Patricia Marx, an author of humor books and children's books who has written for "Saturday Night Live" and "Rugrats" and is a contributing editor to Time magazine, was cited for the novel "Him Her Him Again The End of Him."

The first woman elected to the Harvard Lampoon, the school's famed humor magazine, her work has also appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, Vogue, and The Atlantic Monthly. among other publications.

The third finalist announced Tuesday was Simon Rich for "Ant Farm," an essay collection. Rich, son of New York Times columnist Frank Rich, is a Harvard University graduate who served as president of the Harvard Lampoon.

Harvard Lampoon's previous editorial staff members include William Gaddis, John Updike, Andy Borowitz, B.J. Novak, and many comedic writers and producers who have counted The Simpsons, Saturday Night Live, Seinfeld and The Office amongst their work.

The Thurber Prize, named for author-illustrator James Thurber, was founded in 1996. The award will be presented in October at New York's famed Algonquin Hotel, once home to Thurber.

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Photos courtesy of Wikipedia, crossingborder.nl, Simon & Schuster, and John J. Kim/Sun-Times

Original Source: AP, Crossing Border, Simon & Schuster, and Chicago Sun-Times (with videos)

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Desperate attempts are underway to save a baby humpback whale which is trying to bond with yachts in Sydney harbour, after mistaking the boats for its mother. The two week old calf, which has been separated from its real mother, was spotted nuzzling up to a whale-sized boat in the picturesque Pittwater waterway just north of Sydney on Monday.

Rescuers from the New South Wales National Parks and Wildlife Service towed the yacht out to sea hoping to entice the calf to find other whales who would adopt it. Eventually the calf detached itself from the boat, although it remained swimming close to it. However today the baby whale had returned to the Pittwater basin, where spotted swimming “rather energetically” around other yachts in the area.

The race is now on to save it, but wildlife experts are pessimistic about their chances. The calf, which needs urgently to find a mother to suckle to, is in “grim danger” if it does not find a substitute, said John Dengate, a spokesman for the New South Wales National Parks and Wildlife Service. The only option is for the calf to find another pod of whales with a mother who can adopt it. “We’ve wracked our brains to think of some kind of captive approach we can do, by taking it in and rearing it ourselves, but it seems to be impossible in Australia, and possibly around the world,” Mr Dengate said.

Baby whales suckle for 11 months on vast amounts of high fat milk and put on approximately 2 pounds a day. To raise this calf by hand, someone would have to take it in and feed it a special formula of whale milk substitute. They would also have to have the capacity to house it until it is grown to its full adult size of 40–50 ft (12-16m), with a weight of approximately 79,000 pounds (36,000 kg). “It is pretty much an impossible ask,” Mr Dengate said. “It’s just heartbreaking, the only thing we can do is monitor the little fella and hope he finds a new mum.”

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Photos courtesy of AP Photo/Channel Nine and AFP

Original Source: Times Online

Video: Baby Whale Lost in Australia

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ANAHEIM, Calif. (AP) — Cinderella, Snow White, Tinkerbell and other fictional fixtures of modern-day childhood were handcuffed, frisked and loaded into police vans Thursday at the culmination of a labor protest that brought a touch of reality to the Happiest Place on Earth.

The arrest of the 32 protesters, many of whom wore costumes representing famous Disney characters, came at the end of an hour-long march to Disneyland's gates from one of three Disney-owned hotels at the center of a labor dispute.

Those who were arrested sat in a circle on a busy intersection outside the park holding hands until they were placed in plastic handcuffs and led to two police vans while hundreds of hotel workers cheered and chanted. The protesters were arrested on a misdemeanor count of failure to obey a police officer and two traffic infractions, said Sgt. Rick Martinez of the Anaheim police. They were cited and released, Sgt. Chris Schneider said.

Bewildered tourists in Disney T-shirts and caps, some pushing strollers, filed past the commotion and gawked at the costumed picketers getting hauled away. The protest shut down a major thoroughfare outside Disneyland and California Adventure for nearly an hour. Before the arrests, the picketers marched and chanted outside Paradise Pier, holding signs that read, "Disney is unfaithful," and "Mickey, shame on you." They were joined by community activists and religious leaders from local churches.

The dispute involves about 2,300 maids, bell hops, cooks and dishwashers at three Disney- owned hotels: the Paradise Pier, the Grand Californian and the Disneyland Hotel. The workers' contract expired in February and their union says Disney's latest proposal makes health care unaffordable for hundreds of employees and creates an unfair two-tier wage system. The union also says Disney wants to create a new category of part-time employees who would receive greatly reduced benefits. Disney spokeswoman Lisa Haines said Disney and the union are in negotiations and nothing has been finalized. She said workers have protested 14 times but sat down to negotiate only 11 times in the past six months.

Luz Vasquez, who works in the bakery at Disneyland Hotel, said she can't afford to lose many of her benefits. She said it's already hard to care for her three grandchildren and aging mother while earning $14.32 an hour. Co-worker Diane Dominguez, 50, said she was worried about losing health care because of the heavy labor involved in lifting mattresses, moving furniture and making dozens of beds a day. She also said rising prices and the cost of gas were eating into her salary of $11.11 an hour.

At the heart of the issue is a free health care plan that has been provided to Disney hotel workers through a trust fund that Disney and other unionized hotels in the area pay into. Briceno said that in exchange for the free medical plan, union members agreed in previous contracts to a lower wage for hotel workers in the first three years of their employment. But Disney now wants to eliminate the free health plan for new hires and wants to create a new class of workers who put in less than 30 hours a week, said Briceno. Those part-time workers would receive no sick or vacation pay and not be given holidays, she said. The company also wants to increase the number of hours full-time employees must work before qualifying for the health plan, she said.

Haines said the majority of other employees at Disneyland pay for a share of their health plan, even though the resort shoulders about 75 percent of the overall cost. She said it's important to negotiate a contract that's fair to those other unions, too. "We do remain hopeful that we can reach an agreement that's both fair and equitable, providing that union leadership is reasonable and realistic in its approach," Haines said.

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Here’s hoping for a happy ending.

Photos courtesy of AP Photo/Carlos Delgado, The Sun (UK)

Original Source: AP

Slideshow: You're Micked

Related Article: Snow White, Mickey & Minnie Mouse And Tinkerbell Among Those Arrested At Disneyland (with video)

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When Royal Caribbean launches its $1.2 billion 'Oasis of the Sea' in 2009, it will carry up to 5,400 passengers and will be as tall as a 12-story building, as long as four football fields, and wider than the Panama Canal.

Formidably awesome – a floating city.

The question is - at sea, the bigger, the better?

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Photos courtesy of Robert Polidori

Original Source: CNN

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Federal agents may take a traveler's laptop computer or other electronic device to an off-site location for an unspecified period of time without any suspicion of wrongdoing, as part of border search policies the Department of Homeland Security recently disclosed. Also, officials may share copies of the laptop's contents with other agencies and private entities for language translation, data decryption or other reasons, according to the policies, dated July 16 and issued by two DHS agencies, U.S. Customs and Border Protection and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

"The policies . . . are truly alarming," said Sen. Russell Feingold (D-Wis.), who is probing the government's border search practices. He said he intends to introduce legislation soon that would require reasonable suspicion for border searches, as well as prohibit profiling on race, religion or national origin.

DHS officials said the newly disclosed policies -- which apply to anyone entering the country, including U.S. citizens -- are reasonable and necessary to prevent terrorism. Officials said such procedures have long been in place but were disclosed last month because of public interest in the matter. Civil liberties and business travel groups have pressed the government to disclose its procedures as an increasing number of international travelers have reported that their laptops, cellphones and other digital devices had been taken -- for months, in at least one case -- and their contents examined.

The policies state that officers may "detain" laptops "for a reasonable period of time" to "review and analyze information." This may take place "absent individualized suspicion." The policies cover "any device capable of storing information in digital or analog form," including hard drives, flash drives, cellphones, iPods, pagers, beepers, and video and audio tapes. They also cover "all papers and other written documentation," including books, pamphlets and "written materials commonly referred to as 'pocket trash' or 'pocket litter.' "

Reasonable measures must be taken to protect business information and attorney-client privileged material, the policies say, but there is no specific mention of the handling of personal data such as medical and financial records. When a review is completed and no probable cause exists to keep the information, any copies of the data must be destroyed. Copies sent to non-federal entities must be returned to DHS. But the documents specify that there is no limitation on authorities keeping written notes or reports about the materials.

"They're saying they can rifle through all the information in a traveler's laptop without having a smidgen of evidence that the traveler is breaking the law," said Greg Nojeim, senior counsel at the Center for Democracy and Technology. Notably, he said, the policies "don't establish any criteria for whose computer can be searched."

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Photos courtesy of io9, AP Photo/Mike Derer, and AFP

Original Source: Washington Post

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(AP) A dog at a southeast Kansas zoo has adopted three tiger cubs abandoned by their mother. Safari Zoological Park owner Tom Harvey said the tiger cubs were born Sunday, but the mother had problems with them.

A day later, the mother stopped caring for them. Harvey said the cubs were wandering around, trying to find their birth mother, who wouldn't pay attention to them. That's when the cubs were put in the care of a golden retriever, Harvey said.

Harvey said it's unusual for dogs to care for tiger cubs, but it does happen. He said he has seen reports of pigs nursing cubs in China, and he actually got the golden retriever after his wife saw television accounts of dogs caring for tiger cubs.

Puppies take about the same amount of time as tiger cubs to develop, and Harvey said the adoptive mother just recently weaned her own puppies. "The timing couldn't have been any better," he said. The mother doesn't know the difference, Harvey said. He said the adopted mother licks, cleans and feeds the cubs.

The Safari Zoological Park is a licensed facility open since 1989 and specializes in endangered species. It has leopards, lions, cougars, baboons, ring-tailed lemurs, bears and other animals. It currently has seven white tigers and two orange tigers.

Because white tigers are inbred from the first specimen found more than a half-century ago, they are not as genetically stable as orange tigers. The zoo's previous litter of white tiger cubs was born April 23, although one of the three has since gone to a private zoo near Oklahoma City.

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Photos courtesy of AP, EPA/Eduardo Resend, and Gene J. Puskar/AP Photo

Original Source: CBS News (with video)

Image Gallery: ABC News Amazing Animals Photo Gallery

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The rising cost of food is a growing concern for many people across the world. There have been protests, and even riots, in countries including Mexico, India and Egypt, clear evidence of the struggle that many people are now facing. However, if Italians feel that their local food retailer is charging unreasonable prices, they can now call on a new service to help them haggle or walk away. Thanks to a short message service (SMS) text system set up jointly by the Italian agriculture ministry and consumer associations, shoppers can check the average price of different foods in northern, central and southern Italy.

Italy’s Department of Agriculture, Food & Forestry, along with consumer organisations, have come up with the SMS Consumatori service www.smsconsumatori.it, which tracks prices for over 80 types of fruit, vegetables, meat, dairy products and so on. To use the service, shoppers send a text message to 47947 for free, typing the name of the product they want a price for. They get a reply straightaway listing both a wholesale price and average retail prices in the north, centre and south. If a product comes in varieties, the service sends separate messages for each of the most popular ones.

SMS Consumatori sources information from 2,200 different stores, such as butchers, market stalls and discount stores, and covers the whole country. Prices are updated from Tuesday to Saturday. A very good feature is that people can fill a virtual shopping cart and see what its average cost would be. According to Jote Bassi, vice-president global sales and marketing at messaging services provider Anam, which is headquartered in Dublin, SMS Consumatori is a great use of SMS technology and yet more evidence of the importance to both consumers and operators of SMS services in general.

With prices spiraling out of control in some parts of the world, some people feel that it is high time consumers could check just how much traders are profiting. BBC reporter Emma Wallis from BBC World Service's Culture Shock programme decided to find out how much 2kg of tomatoes cost in a market in Rome. She found that the wholesale price of a kilo of cherry tomatoes is 69 euro cents (54p). Whereas the retail price in the north is 2.9 euros, in central Italy it is 2.8 euros, while in the south its 1.85 euros. By contrast, for bigger tomatoes the wholesale price is 62 cents compared with 2.15 euros in the north, 1.85 euros in central and 1.50 euros in the south. However, the tomatoes are bought by the wholesalers for only 22 cents a kilo from the farmers.

According to Tom Standage, business editor at The Economist magazine, markets are more efficient when you have more information. "If you are in a supermarket and there's a price for tomatoes and that's the only piece of information you have, you've got no idea whether you should be protesting by not buying it," he says. He explains that for supply and demand to work at its best, consumers need to be able to compare different prices from suppliers on the spot, something the texting service and others like it should help make easier. "There are even services where you can scan a barcode in with your mobile phone and it tells you how much the internet retailers are selling a particular product for," he says.

With many analysts warning that high food costs are here to stay, Italian consumer are unlikely to be the only ones hoping to find the High Street's best prices.

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Photos courtesy of AFP, SiliconRepublic.com, and CTV.ca

Original Source: BBC News and SiliconRepublic.com

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The Los Angeles City Council has approved a law that bans fast-food restaurants from opening in South LA. People who live in this area have the largest obesity problems. Approximately one in 3 children from South LA is obese, compared to one in five in the rest of the city. Nearly one-third of residents in the city's south are obese, compared with 19% for the overall Los Angeles area and 14% in the wealthier west side area.

The main thing responsible for this condition is poverty, as well as the fact that 73 percent of the restaurants in the southern part of the city are fast-food ones and offer meals that are high in calories and cholesterol. "There's one set of food for one part of the city, another set of food for another part of the city, and it's very stratified that way," Marqueece Harris-Dawson, a community leader in south Los Angeles, told the Washington Post this month.

The new law will ban the opening of any fast-food restaurants for a year, but there is the possibility that this period will be increased to two years. According to the new law, “any establishment which dispenses food for consumption on or off the premises, and which has the following characteristics: a limited menu, items prepared in advance or prepared or heated quickly, no table orders and food served in disposable wrapping or containers" is considered to be a fast-food restaurant.

As expected, the new law was received with criticism by fast-food companies, who argued that many of them offer healthy food too, and that it is the consumer's decision to buy junk food. According to them, banning fast-food restaurants is an unfair decision. However, studies have shown that increasing the number of places where people can buy healthy food in a certain area reduces or at least stabilizes the number of people that suffer from obesity in that area as well.

Fast-food chains such as McDonalds have become ubiquitous in America's poor urban areas thanks in large part to their inexpensive meals, raising questions in Los Angeles about whether the new ban would hit low-income residents in the pocketbook. But the city carved out an exemption for lower-priced chains that make their food fresh to order without using a drive-through window, such as Subway. The new law that was approved by the LA City Council also encourages groceries and restaurants that offer healthy food to open for business in South LA.

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Photos courtesy of EontarioNow, AP Photo / Nick Ut, and vivirlatino.com

Original Source: eFluxMedia and Guardian, UK

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CAMBRIDGE, Idaho (AP) — Using his trusty BB gun to help him return to Earth, a 48-year-old gas station owner flew a lawn chair rigged with helium-filled balloons more than 200 miles across the Oregon desert Saturday, landing in a field in Idaho. Kent Couch created a sensation in this tiny farming community, where he touched down safely in a pasture after lifting off from Bend, Ore., and was soon greeted by dozens of people who gave him drinks of water, local plumber Mark Hetz said.

"My wife works at the City Market," Hetz said. "She called and said, 'The balloon guy in the lawn chair just flew by the market, and if you look out the door you can see him. "We go outside to look, and lo and behold, there he is. He's flying by probably 100 to 200 feet off the ground. "He takes his BB gun and shoots some balloons to lower himself to the ground. When he hit the ground he released all the little tiny balloons. People were racing down the road with cameras. They were all talking and laughing."

Couch covered about 235 miles in about nine hours after lifting off at dawn from his gas station riding in a green lawn chair rigged with an array of more than 150 giant party balloons.

Sandi Barton, 58, who has lived her whole life in this town of about 300, said she and her brother-in-law were the first ones to reach Couch and shook his hand. "Not much happens in Cambridge," she said, adding that about half the town turned out. "He came right over our pea field," she said. "He was coming down pretty fast." She said Couch gave some of his balloons to local children. It was not clear where Couch went after he landed.

It began after Couch, clutching a big mug of coffee, kissed his wife and kids goodbye, then patted their shivering Chihuahua, Isabella, on the head. After spilling off some cherry-flavored Kool-Aid that served as ballast, Couch got a push from the ground crew so he could clear light poles and soared over a coffee cart and across U.S. Highway 20 into a bright blue sky.

"If I had the time and money and people, I'd do this every weekend," Couch said before getting into the chair. "Things just look different from up there. You've moving so slowly. The best thing is the peace, the serenity... Originally, I wanted to do it because of boyhood dreams. I don't know about girls, but I think most guys look up in the sky and wish they could ride on a cloud." Couch's wife, Susan, called him crazy: "It's never been a dull moment since I married him."

This was Couch's third balloon flight. He realized it would be possible after watching a TV show about the 1982 lawn chair flight over Los Angeles of truck driver Larry Walters, who gained folk hero fame but was fined $1,500 for violating air traffic rules. In 2006, Couch had to parachute out after popping too many balloons. And last year he flew 193 miles to the sagebrush of northeastern Oregon, short of his goal. "I'm not stopping till I get out of state," he said. To that end, he ordered more balloons. Dozens of volunteers wearing fluorescent green T-shirts that said "Dream Big" filled latex balloons 5 feet in diameter, attached them to strings and tied clusters of six balloons each to a tiny carabiner clip. Each balloon gives four pounds of lift. The chair was about 400 pounds, and Couch and his parachute 200 more. "I'd go to 30,000 feet if I didn't shoot a balloon down periodically," Couch said.

For that job, he carried a Red Ryder BB gun and a blow gun equipped with steel darts. He also had a pole with a hook for pulling in balloons, a parachute in case anything went wrong, a handheld Global Positioning System device with altimeter, a satellite phone, and two GPS tracking devices. One was one for him, the other for the chair, which got away in the wind as he landed last year. For food he carried some boiled eggs, jerky and chocolate. Couch flew hang gliders and skydived before taking up lawn-chair flights. He estimated the rig cost about $6,000, mostly for helium. Costs were defrayed by corporate sponsors.

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Photos courtesy of AAP, Aero-News Network, Inc., and AP Photo/Jeff Barnard

Original Source: AP

Images courtesy of Britt/State Journal-Register, Britt/The State Journal-Register, Sherttius / Boulder Camera, and CAM/Ottawa Citizen/Copley News Service, Mike Smith/Las Vegas Sun/King Features Syndicate, and Jones/Creators Syndicate

Original Source: Time